a sad day.

Today, I feel hollow. I feel anger. I feel far from home physically. I feel far from home metaphorically. Today, my home has forever been changed.

Last night, I set an alarm for 4:30am to make sure everything was going as everyone said it would. I didn’t go back to sleep.

I sat waiting for the tide to turn the other way, refreshing pages at an obsessive rate. The hours that felt like eternity passed and the sinking feeling became heavier on my being as the realization set in- the mountain had become too tall for Hillary to climb.

I watched the numbers change in real time. Media networks making millions off of this cutthroat election. Someone who I’ve been referring to as He-who-must-not-be-named was announced the 45th president of the United States.

Things feel different today.

Due to my sleeplessness, I considered skipping class. Due to my tears, I considered skipping class. Due to my need to connect to folks back home, I considered skipping class. But my class ‘Causes of Peace’ seemed more relevant today than ever.

The lecture was called ‘Gender Equality and Peace.’ Of course the election became central to our conversation. We talked about Crooked Hillary. We talked about ‘locker room talk.’ We talked about different expectations for leaders depending on their gender. Would she have won if she were a man? Or a Republican? Who knows. But part of her loss is certainly because she is a woman.  

Through tears, I spoke of things I’ve seen throughout the campaign- a cardboard cutout of Hillary hanging from a noose in Maine, graffiti calling her a murderer, videos from ‘inside Trump rallies’ where racial slurs and hate speech are caught in painful minutes of footage. And don’t forget the campaign- an endless stream of bullying, fear mongering from the candidate himself- a 15-month long beating of every ‘American’ value into an unrecognizable pulp. We’ve been through a lot. I spoke of fear, for myself as a woman, for minority, immigrant, Muslim and LGBTQ friends and families and communities. This fear is real, and though half of America seems fine with glazing over and embracing the divisive hatred and racism that has fueled the new president’s campaign, the other half is here to resist and we’re not going anywhere.

For the past two and a half years, countless people have questioned my desire and interest in Conflict Resolution and Coexistence. Why would I pursue my master’s in such a field? Y’all, look around. America, by some measures, is a ‘peaceful’ nation, but it sure as hell isn’t at peace. All the ugly hatred that we’ve just put on display for the world to see is why I am pursuing a master’s in this field. THERE IS WORK TO BE DONE.

I got hugs and kind words from friends and classmates from Turkey, from Finland, from Sweden, England, Norway, Australia and Kenya. If you haven’t realized, the effects of this election are felt around the world. People tell me jokingly to stay in Sweden. I say, hell no, I’m going home. Though I know I will return to a transformed America, I hope part of that transformation will be an ignition of political activism, an emergence from a period of political apathy. We need some serious self-reflection- WHITE AMERICA, I’m talking to you. And I’m not excusing myself from this introspection- I know there have been times when I stepped back instead of stepping up - but our posts on social media need to match our action in our communities.

We need to keep talking. We need to keep moving, organizing, pushing each other to new perspectives. The divides in this country are great and we are the ones who will build the bridges. If we stop talking, we stop moving, and this is not a place I want to stay.

Love you all. Acknowledge you all. Now let’s move forward.

Nancin' Around in Norway !

Well, here I am, using this blog as a procrastination tool from my studies. Nance just left yesterday and I selected to take a full vacation while she was here, making genuine productivity a challenge today. But, I suppose I am writing something, so it can be seen as an appropriate start to writing my course paper and master’s paper (both of which I ignored last week). Anyways, me and Nance had some adventures last week! I’m so glad she came to visit and that we decided to go to Norway because it’s unlikely I would have been able afford that country on my own (thanks Tom!)! WOOF.

Day 1 So, Nance arrived on a Monday and after finding her way out of the airport, we tra-la-laed back to Uppsala where she proceeded to take a very long nap. But one afternoon of jetlag was all it took, the next morning we were up and out strolling around Uppsala and eating cake. It was interesting to have a visitor to a place I do not know extremely well but proved to be an excellent opportunity for some exploration and shopping (thanks Tom!). We of course checked out the medieval cathedral and strolled around the downtown, going in and out of many little shops, stopping for tea and cake (FIKA!) and enjoying the crisp fall weather. Nance even wore shoes good enough for walking for multiple hours! We had a delightful dinner at a restaurant I would have otherwise never stepped foot in and Nance made new friends with the old Swedish couple seated next to us. It was Ove’s birthday, what a celebration!

taking pictures in church 

Fika ! 

Chillin' by the river

shopping in Uppsala for decorative napkins for Tom! 

taking a very important picture of the shopping mall

Day 2 The next day we woke up and went to Stockholm to begin our Norwegian adventure. The train ride to Oslo was stressful and stinky, as we had the poor luck of getting stuck in a car with a family with young children and a very hands-off, ‘nap while they cry,’ parenting style. It was not pleasant, but we made it to Oslo. Oslo is a very cool city- an understated cultural hub that more people should probably visit. It was expensive, so I understand it’s a bit inaccessible in that way, but I wish I had had more time there. We walked up through the center of the city, stopping at W.B. Samson for the best cinnamon roll Nance has ever had and up through the center of the city until we reached Vigeland Sculpture Park , the largest sculpture park in the world made by a single artist. Nance loved that all the sculptures were naked. By the time we reached the park, it was dark out, but the lighting and fountains were thought-provoking and interesting nonetheless. We then headed down to Aker Brygge , the wharf area with shops, restaurants and the Nobel Peace Center. Though the museum had closed, it was great to see that symbol and center of knowledge and education so central to my peacebuilding degree. We had a delicious meal and Nance discovered that no, she doesn’t hate all fish! This meal marked the beginning of a long love affair with fish soup.

Still smiling before our nightmare train ride begins! off to Oslo!

Fika! 

Vigeland Sculpture park 

Nobel Peace Center 

Day 3 We woke up in Oslo and had the most delicious Scandinavian breakfast buffet- complete with salted mackerel and tomato beans and eggs and a mini open fire grill just for bacon! Nance discovered that yogurt comes in cartons that look like milk cartons! We then got on the Bergen Railway, the most scenic and arguably the most beautiful train route cutting through the unreal scenery of Norway- complete with views of fjords, mountains, pastures and frozen lakes. We transferred to another famous railway in Myrdal, to the Flåm Railway which took us in and out of mountain tunnels until we arrived at our second overnight stop of the trip in the small fjord town of Flåm. Flåm is extremely tiny and took about 5 minutes to walk around (there was ‘The Mall of Norway’ and a nice museum about the Flåm railway). Most notably, the town did have a brewery where we enjoyed probably our favorite meal of the trip, which was, you guessed it, fish soup! But it was really really really good and we had been really really cold all day so it really spoke to us. Plus, their beer was delicious and the restaurant gave Nance ample groups of people to watch and make dinner recommendations to on the way out.

Taking some blurry pictures from the train window!

Is this real?

Waterfall stop on the Flåmbana railway

our fjord lodge in Flåm

Our hotel backyard 

The most delicious fish soup. Seriously.

We were blown away by beauty the entire day, and our overnight mountain lodge provided us with a pristine escape from what we called daily life, as we slept nestled in between several mountains and could step right out on our balcony to admire the crisp beauty of the fjords. We even caught a glimpse of the Northern Lights- nothing that lit up the entire sky as many may imagine, but some dancing green clouds and a flash of a mystical rainbow across the dark rocky silhouettes in our view.

Day 4 We woke up in our mystical setting and boarded a ‘fjord ferry’ that took us from Flåm to Gudvangen, another fjord town where we caught a bus to Voss and then a train to Bergen for our final night of the journey. The fjord cruise was about 2 hours long, cutting through glass like waters and cutting through ice as we weaved through the passages. The boat ride uses battery power to preserve the Nærøyfjord (a UNESCO world heritage site) and so the trip outside was practically silent. It was extremely cold outside, but we managed to take a few laps outside to soak in a 360 view before retreating to prevent frostbite. It was great that we were traveling in autumn, which is a bit in between seasons of the tourism there, because I could imagine the peace and tranquility of our journey being robbed by mobs of rude ass tourists.

Fjord cruise

Is this real life? 

gotta break the ice!

Our bus ride from Gudvagen to Voss was breathtaking as well, through large stretches of sheep farms and mountains dotted with the quintessential clusters of little red Norwegian houses. In Voss, we grabbed lunch and waited for our train to depart (which was late due to a workers’ strike which I need to further investigate) but eventually we hopped on and arrived in the cute ass city of Bergen, which is often referred to as the ‘Gateway to the Fjords.’ Once again, we put our stuff in the hotel, put on a fresh coat of deodorant and headed out for some exploration. A couple from Bergen that we met on the train suggested that we check out the cable cars to the top of Ulriken mountain. What a great suggestion. From the top, we happened upon a beautiful sunset, views of many fjords, and a couple glasses of wine at the oh so accommodating mountain top restaurant. We descended and had a fireside dinner at the hotel restaurant.

Day 5 We got up and went out to explore Bergen by daylight. The city is very cute, the 2nd largest in Norway, and full of historic architecture, museums and beautiful mountains. We made our way down to the Bryggen Wharf, another UNESCO world heritage site that consists of wooden medieval structures that though have burned to the ground several times, have been rebuilt with medieval patterns and methods, preserving the look of the medieval wooden urban trade center. We loved walking around little Bergen. We headed over to the Kode museums to check out the exhibition on Edvard Munch (known most for ‘The Scream’), and other famous Norwegian painters. We then headed out, back to Sweden where we spent the rest of the weekend in Stockholm.

Bryggen Wharf wooden houses 

Bergen 

Not quite sure how this pic turned out!

In Stockholm, we wandered around Gamla Stan (old town) and discovered a cafe in a building that, from our understanding, used to be an old prison. Of course we had Fika there and of course we wandered around and bought cute little things from the local artists scattered around Gamla Stan.

taking a picture of something??? 

On Sunday, we headed back to Uppsala and Nance started a series of serious cries to prepare for her departure. She graciously took me grocery shopping (thanks for the toilet paper!) and yesterday we had a final fika and ‘tea time’ before going to the airport. The week went by quickly but what a great time with Nance! Vacation is great, homework is not and so I appreciate this opportunity to recap all the fun and AMAZING things we saw during our time together traveling through Norway.

Last fika in Uppsala. Adios Nance!!!

Well, I'm back to the books,

Xoxo

Swedish Jamie

Sailin' the Baltics: Helsinki and Tallinn

Bye bye, Stockholm!

Well, before this impending darkness and coldness sets in, I was told that cruising the Baltics is a great opportunity to inexpensively visit different cities that sit on the Baltic sea. Two weeks after my jaunt to Amsterdam, I hopped on a ferry from Stockholm to Helsinki with two friends from Heller (holla!!!!). The ferry is a refurbished cruise ship from what I understand, complete with a duty free mini mall (that people went bananas for), restaurants, casinos, bars and a spa. You book a cabin that looks like the compartment for an overnight train, with pull down bunk beds. The ferry out of Stockholm was the same as my little archipelago tour that I took a few weeks back, except at sunset, so obviously I loved it. Had a good meal on board and went to sleep and woke up in Helsinki! We stayed at an airbnb with an impossibly high lofted bed and spent the day wandering around the city. We visited the fortress of Suomenlinna, yet another beautiful and impossibly old UNESCO World Heritage site. Helsinki was cool to walk around but seemed extremely quite, and almost borderline deserted. I’m not sure if it’s because we were there on a gloomy Sunday, or if that is the usual vibe. I absolutely loved the depiction of women throughout the city though- most of the statues/advertisements/posters/etc. we saw showed women as a source of strength, intelligence and power. Bodies were realistic and strong instead of emaciated and objectified as is the case in many cultures. It was refreshing to see women celebrated in these ways.

The sea fortress from the top of some hill

Helsinki sunset 

The next morning we got up and hopped on a ferry to Tallinn, the capital of Estonia. We spent the afternoon here- wandering around the old town area, which has structures dating back to the early 1200s and is yet another place preserved as a UNESCO world heritage site. Tallinn was so COOL to walk around- the buildings all medieval architecture and painted in vibrant colors. As I just read on google.com, human settlements in Tallinn date back even farther than its architecture, to over 5,000 years ago, making it one of the oldest capital cities in Northern Europe. I also just learned it’s been called “The Silicon Valley of Europe” and is the birthplace of Skype. WHO KNEW! I should’ve gone to headquarters and asked them to step up their game jaja.

This was delicious

Tallinn is so colorful!

From a viewpoint at the top of some treacherous cobblestoned paths , but cool!

Anywho- after eating some delicious food (this bomb.com goat cheese and spinach pastry thing is something I will dream of) and buying some delicious warm nuts tossed in cinnamon, we boarded our ferry back to Stockholm and settled in for a spectacular sunset (I love sunsets), cheeseburgers and facials/massages at the spa. Thank you Silja ferry!

Welp, that’s all for now. After all this recapping of fabulous adventures, I must go do my homework to I can head out in exploration again soon!

Xoxo

Swedish Jamie

Amsterdam, you're cool.

Chronologically, this was the first of my little European jaunts since I’ve last written. I had never been to Amsterdam before, but have heard about it from virtually anyone who has toured through Europe or studied abroad, as it is certainly an epicenter for partying. I traveled there sola for the first part of my trip, and then met up with one of Rodrigo’s childhood friends and brother for part of it. Our hostel was nestled in the middle of the hustle of the city, on the edge of the red light district and a few blocks away from Dam Square. While I will not even name this hostel in recommendation because it was a shit hole, it was great to be so centrally located in the middle of the city.

inside the flower market 

Amsterdam at night (duh)

A cute little Dutch breakfast

sweet 

My first night there I spent wandering around, checking out the flower market, Dam Square and went on a little canal cruise at sunset (how romantic) and was just blown away by this city of canals which was unlike anything I’d seen before (including Venice). I made friends with an Australian on the boat and we spent the night wandering around and visited the museum of prostitution. I had always heard about the red light district but was still a bit jolted by seeing it in person, and saddened by imagining the reality of those who make a living working in the sex industry. Of course I cannot claim to know this experience, I can only imagine what I would feel like that situation, it’s still hard for me to put an entirely positive or healthy spin on the industry.

Anyways, the first morning I was there I headed over to the Anne Frank House, something I had bought a ticket for weeks in advance (please do that if you plan to visit) and a site I have been looking forward to visiting for years. The museum is bare of any furniture, at the request of Otto Frank (Anne’s father) making for an appropriately somber visit and imagining of the reality of those who hide in those walls, deprived of sunlight, normalcy and access to the world. I have always been inspired by Anne Frank’s diary, in both the bravery she had to write so eloquently on topics beyond what she should have had to confront at that age, but also by the injustice of her lack of choice. The museum was a poignant homage to Anne, a heartfelt design infused with the sorrow of her father and the memories of life there during hiding.

From what I observed there that morning, the Anne Frank house has become a symbol of humanity, a physical place where tourists flock to commemorate the writer of what became a transformative piece of writing, unlike anything that had ever been published before, but was maybe lacking a sense of connection to tragedy and genocide that has persisted beyond WWII, even though the motto ‘never again’ is repeated in reference to the Holocaust. There was something odd about watching people taking selfies, smiling in front of Anne’s house, as if their visit signified a victory over evil and human suffering. While I was overjoyed to see so many people take interest in the history of the Holocaust and to expand their knowledge of the atrocities that occurred, the peace builder and educator in me saw a missed opportunity for the museum to continue the education by adding some sort of memorium or exhibit about genocide in general and educate about genocides that have occurred since the Holocaust, despite the Western world’s repeated claim of ‘never again.’ I don’t mean to be critical of the museum, because I thought it was powerful and intentional in all aspects, but I couldn’t help but feel that some sort of global anchoring was missing.

Anywho, I was also able to elbow my way through the Van Gogh museum and catch a peek at the iconic I amsterdam sign outside of the Rijksmuseum. The Van Gogh museum was incredibly crowded, but I enjoyed putting the breadth of his work into the perspective of the length of his career, which was relatively short and cut short by his suicide. A depressing life story indeed, but an impressive and inspiring portfolio that filled up two buildings of galleries.

On my last day there, I hopped on one of those tourist buses and spent the day being equally annoyed with everyone who was also on the bus and highly entertained by everyone who was on the bus. The tour took us out to Zandaam to see some historic windmills. They were cool and also, I couldn't quite leave the Netherlands without seeing a windmill of course!

Amsterdam was great to just wander around, walking by the canals and wandering in and out of shops and galleries. I’m glad I had the chance to go when it was still warm out and had so much free time to weave around the city.

My outerwear is irrelevant here

I have heard the cries of my impatient readership (ahem, Tom), who has had to resort to phone conversations in order to receive a full update of my Swedish life. I do apologize for my absence, but I’m not too sorry because I have a lot of shit to do. As a compromise, here is a short, mostly pictorial, update. The most shocking update is that, as of today, October 4th, I feel that my outerwear is already irrelevant in this place! Nighttime temperatures are falling down to 5 or 6 degrees (Oh yes, I’ve decided to convert myself to celsius since fahrenheit is a silly invention that a majority of the world does not understand. But for those who are not on this same crusade, it’s in the 30s! Aka brr!). Anywho, so the light fall jackets I brought, even complemented by a nice sweater, are useless in the face of this quickly onset chill factor. Time to go shopping!

To address my absence from the blogosphere with a semblance of a snapshot update, I have been traveling (posts in the works for Amsterdam and a cruise of the Baltics to Helsinki and Tallinn) and additionally, I have this thing called a master’s paper that I MUST finish. Not to mention fellowship applications and classwork etc. etc. and facetiming with Lucy. Things have been busy (not Boston busy aka I’m not losing my mind), but I regretfully admit that crafting these musings for your entertainment have temporarily fallen to the bottom of my priority list. To make up for it, I’ve included some pictures of the beautiful fall foliage, including a rainbow I saw this morning outside my apartment complex. Stay posted for my reflections on the first of many European travels and…maybe a guest blog from Nance who’s coming to visit next week!

Peace and love,

Swedish Jamie

Fall scenery outside of my home 

Wow! 

a sunset and a cool tree

lingon berries

the rainbow! 

fall from the library steps 

Viking burial mounds, Kulturnatten and Tyresta National Park

Saturday     

     One thing that I’ve heard repeatedly upon arriving here in Sweden is to “brace myself” for winter. Yes, I know (but at the same time, I don’t know) that it is going to get very dark and cold very soon. Blah blah blah, but let’s not dwell on the future that is not yet here. From my view, it’s sunny and in the 70s, with zero humidity (had enough of that, Boston!) so, in other words, it’s perfect for exploring outside.

    As I mentioned before, I live in the forest. What do people like doing in the forest? Well, many things I think, but one is hiking. So behind my apartment and around 6-7k in either direction (look at me, using the metric system!) is a hiking path that cuts through all these beautiful trees and fields. So on Saturday I took off in one direction towards the city center and walked in solace and warm sun beams for a couple hours until I reached the bus stop.

trail head to Gula Stigen near my apt

From there, I hopped on for a short ride to the sight of Gamla Uppsala (or, ‘Old Uppsala’) where there are giant lumps in an otherwise relatively flat piece of land. What are these giant mounds, you ask? Why, they are some royal Viking burial mounds from approximately 500AC! Well. I’ve been to the Great Wall of China, so I can’t say it’s the oldest thing I’ve ever seen (and yes I’ve definitely seen other things that older but this is the best comparison I can make right now, ok!?) but it was still wild to be walking around and climbing up these giant mounds that contained the medieval remains of a medieval society. Here are some photos: 

Gamla Uppsala

From the top of a burial mound

A Swedish Selfie

The same mounds, except this time, horizontally!

    Saturday also happened to be the day when Uppsala hosted its annual Kulturnatten or Culture Night, where usually busy city streets were closed for pedestrians, all the museums were open all day, concerts were scattered throughout the city and there were food trucks at every corner. While for me, it absolutely was not anything compared to the Durham Fair (nothing is), I can only compare the town’s excitement, participation and overthrow of business as usual to the great Durham Fair annual event of all time. There were also pushy teenagers running around texting each other and looking way too dressed up for such a gathering, odd performances of the choral variety and tchotchkes for sale, galore. No cows, llamas or other livestock and definitely no mozzarella sticks in sight. There was, however, a truck claiming to be “America’s Pride” selling donuts so I guess that counts for something! It was good to see so many people out and about on a Saturday night, as usually the streets of Uppsala seem to be overtaken with those dang university students. But alas, it did just make me preemptively miss the fair!

Sunday

    Sunday was another day for exploration, this time taking a series of buses and trains to 12km outside of Stockholm to Tyresta National Park. Together with my friend from France, we were able to decipher the connections, get a free round trip on the regional bus by not having pre-purchased our tickets (not recommended for travel), hike in pristine forest for hours and make friends with several ducks. There were many people there carrying around woven baskets looking for the season’s end batch of blueberries (or mushrooms? It was unclear) but enough space and solitude to be able to walk around in the whispers of the trees. Aside from being nearly eaten by a couple of hungry ducks, the day was pleasant, reflective and beautiful. Here are some pictures! Note: they are not paintings even if they may look fake. 

'The Virgin Forest' as they labeled this section of the trail

A beautiful lake

Don't eat these

Very unafraid poultry

You may notice that the season here looks similar to maybe early-mid October back home in the states. Don’t worry, it’s throwing me off as well. The seasons here seem to accelerate much more quickly than back home. The trees here are beginning to turn and the days are shortening by minutes at a time. When I got here, the sun was setting around 9pm and rising around 5:30am. Today it will set around 7:15pm and rise at 6:15am. Bracing myself for the darkness, I know! I will join the gym soon because they have a ‘light room.’

Anywho, enough procrastinating with my dear diary.

Xoxo

Swedish Jamie